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This is the perfect game for a fast joke. 

Joseph Summa

MeepleGamers

7/10

Publisher: Cojones


Designer: Scott Westgard


Game Type: Humor


Game Type: Adult


Game Type: Party Game


Game Type: Dice


Initial Year of Release: 2012


Age Range: 18+


Expected Playtime: 10


Number of Players: 2-69

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 1

Theme and What is it?


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7/10

First of all, let me repeat an important statement.  In the title we have NSFW.  This means NOT Safe For Work.  You have been warned that this is a strictly adult game.  Honestly, I feel like this is entirely a gag gift game or something you MUST play at a bachelorette party.

You roll dice.  You attempt to get the largest gentleman’s vegetable possible without an overly soft roll.

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 2
(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 3

Gameplay Mechanics


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7/10

Alright brace yourself.  I am going to do an entire rules teach.  I might even give you a play through blow-by-blow review… wait, bad idea.  Scrap that part, for obvious reasons.

You pick up the 6 dice and roll them.  If you get hearts, they stay locked that way.  You can re-roll non-heart dice up to 2 more times (for 3 total rolls) in classic Yahtzee style.  You need the right starting and ending bit and the highest result in between to win. Unless someone rolls a perfect 6 hearts and finds true love.  Finding true love during King Size seems a bit of a… stretch. 

Shockingly deep gameplay, they say.  Only if you were lucky.

OH! One more rule.  The winner gets stamped.  That little black circle thing in the middle of the case is a crown-shaped stamp.  Classy.

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 4

Initial Impressions


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7/10

Well, if the above image and the general principle hasn’t given you your own initial impression, there is little more I can do for you.  It is what it is.

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 5

Game Build Quality


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9/10

The felt like lining of the case is really nice.  The dice are… well, they are dice.  The rules are super simple and straight forward.  But they are not exactly King Sized rules.  Rather diminutive, really.  

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 6

Artistic Direction


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3/10

Crude.  Effective.  King Sized.  Yeah…. Baby?  I am done here.

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 7

Fun Factor


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5/10

King Size is a simple Yahtzee style mechanism but didn’t even try to wrack up a long game length by having multiple attempts and saved scoring and such.  It is one round, winner take all, no nonsense (except the obvious of course) game.  

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 8

Age Range & Weight


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3/10

18+.  NSFW explains that.  Age answered.

Weight? Well that depends doesn’t it?  How King Sized and how cold could totally change that in a hurry.  But it really isn’t ever going to be that heavy is it?

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 9

Conclusions


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7/10

This is the perfect game for a fast joke.  A bachelorette party seems perfect.  Maybe the right kind of family gathering where you can make some serious blushing and serious laughter be a thing for the 2 minutes it takes to finish a 10 player game.  The 69 player game it is designed to accommodate will still probably not last as long as you would like.  Alas, that is life.

(NSFW) King Size - Cojones - Review 10

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